Golf lesson

Golf again Went for a golf lesson on Friday .The golf pro let me hit a few balls looked at my swing efforts .”Not bad not bad at all” at all he enthused. Which brought an inner smug smile to my face “yes" I though “as I suspected I am actually brilliant and now he is going to give me THE BIG SECRET which will turn me into a scratch golfer.My elation did last long there came the dreaded “HOWEVER I will point out a few areas that will improve your game". My elation was short lived So we looked at my stance :slouch too much, my grip too weak on one hand too strong in the other I know it begs a question but this is only golfing talk). My follow through is poor( my wife washes my underwear so she needs to be consulted on that one) My weight distribution is not correct seemingly I should be putting the weight on the balls of my feet (I know I should not have worn wheelie shoes to golf lesson)“Now put it all together” he instructs “oh oh this does not feel right swoosh a perfectly executed practice swing Excellent my enthusiastic coach declares now do the same and hit this tee (just a tee no ball placed in the ground before me)Swoosh I go again clipping the top of the tee on my way to a perfect follow throughAt last the moment has arrived a ball is placed on the now straightened teeHere we go the big moment first a couple of practise swings then swoosh follow by a horrible clattering sound and the ball rolling 6 feet.“Don’t worry" is my coach’s reaction “you have to expect that you have made some really positive changes to your swing” His face tells me another story “this guy is a nightmare no one can be that bad”He gives me a wry smile which I return We go back to hitting the tee which to be honest I am good at .Confidence is returning we both give each other knowing smiles without a word being uttered we agree he is the master professional expert coach and I am the best student he ever had and well on my way to slashing my handicap.Now back to hitting balls Clunk, clatter splutter the smile has disappeared from the coaches face and his eyebrows are joining together.I cringe feeling like the most stupid person ever to try and hit a ball “what is going on” I wonderThe coach restores his composure and professionalism “its just your timing that is a bit off” (timing were did that come from he never mentioned timing before)” we will work on that next time”.We now look at each other another awkward moment but the words which are never spoken are” will there be a next time”The tension is resolved by the arrival of the next student the coach acknowledges him hows it going he addresses the new student .”great the new student replies “67 in the medal on Saturday” my self esteem hits rock bottom .The coach returns his attention to me “its all about practice don’t bother to hit balls just set up to hit tees”He then holds out his hand, I panic the hand is held at a casual 45 degree angle ,I don’t know what to do is he wanting me to pay him.I take the next best option shake his hand and thank him for a great lesson His face gives nothing away Oh no I have done the wrong thing how do I resolve this I plucked up the courage “where do I pay ““In the pro shop” a rather dry response Bye I mutter and note how happy he is with his new student who probably pays him cash in hand so it does not go through the books and hits the ball for miles and have perfect timing.The next day the Saturday medal I stand on the tee setting my self up My new grip my new stance my new swing .Oh no this will never work quick back to plan b,Plan b is my usual game and it produces my usual scoring some 5’s some 6’s even the odd par and a few 8’s and 9’s . A depressing 102 is the final outcome and my depression deepens with my partners supportive words “you should get yourself a few lessons”

Dreams of a Mad God

It was a normal day on the planet wars hunger unbelievable acts of cruelty ,kindness love and happiness children being born people dying laughter and tears floods and famines sunshine and rain .It all started to shimmer people started to fade ,buildings mountains seas and land all disappeared. The planet Earth popped out of existence followed closely by Mars and Venus and the rest of the planets .The sun noticing it was all alone flew off to join the rest of the stars. The great spiral of stars spun faster getting closer together until it was single sphere.It got smaller and smaller then nothing .
The Mad God awoke with a grunt, his mate and companion Hedenia was already awake stirring the a great pot of amber nectar she was preparing for breakfast ."So you are awake " she shouted .The Mad God replied "so I had a long lie"
The she goddess’s anger rose "11 billion years call that a long lie ,Breakfast has been ready for at least 3 million"
"Sorry" the Mad God relied "but I had a really strange dream there was this thing called a universe it had stars and planets and things called life forms who did really wierd things ,but you know it felt so real "
Hedenia lifted the steaming pot of nectar and placed at the side of his bed. "Stop going on about your silly dreams" she sighed ,"eat your breakfast"

Life is stange

Anyone ever thought how strange the whole life thing is? I dare say there is rather a lot of people suspect that something is not quite right hence success of film like the matrix So why strange what is it about the human existence that makes us feel strange ,that everything is not quite what it should be. Do I know? I am afraid not but I feel I can highlight some of the strange things going on
Religion: how weird is that .Believe in something or someone that we have no evidence for .Being honest if everyone in the word believed in the same religion then I would not have such a problem with it but it is the out and out conviction that their religion is right that scares me this doesn’t fit with me I am afraid S o I must come to the conclusion that religion is all about people so it exists in the world of man not god
Religion might not be a cause of the strangeness but may in fact be a symptom .In basic terms Life is strange so there must be a god
Believing in something does not make it real does not make it unreal either
People: how weird are they .Basically 90% of their life is spent being stupid .This is Ok but what I find amazing is that they do not realise how stupid they are .You are your own private comedian, look at yourself and for goodness sake laugh.
What is so good about talking the amount of conversation I have been involved in where the most ill informed drivel you have ever heard comes gushing out of people’s faces .If they are trying to be funny then this is ok in most cases they think their opinions have some new found truths about reality .The way they defend their opinions is someone akin to their defence in trying to prevent getting their head chopped off
Speaking louder getting aggressive does not validate your opinion.
Work: what is that all about .get up go to work every day sell your soul and your life to ensure you have the basics in life .In modern western times we mean House ,cars food clothes entertainment .Comfortable ? yes but is the price too high. most people at work want to be somewhere else and fantasize about lottery wins and contemplate their retirement. Strange things also happen at work some people tell other people what to do .Bosses, managers call them what you will but the hierarchy of power and rewards never fails to amaze me. Most of which is based on illusions of what people think you are like. In most cases people fulfil the role they fall into not because of their talent but in spite of it, and I mean from top to the bottom of the structure.
More of these thoughts to follow

Golf the hidden hell

Golf was made for me ,some past crimes in a previous life no doubt forever dammed to facing the evil course .Like a true hero I face threaten it and know deep down that this time it will fall and does it happen ,well not this year .the beast has defeated me at every attempt this year .
I dont want to be Tiger Woods,just to play under my 24 handicap would be nice .(just a minute did I say I did not want to be Tiger Woods just in case there is some magical being out there who could actually make this happen then I do want to be Tiger Woods ,phew that was close nearly condemed myself to a life of being me).
One week can't putt another week can't drive can there be any other activity that abilities are lost in the course of 7 days and other mysteriously found
The true secret of golf is not the scoring but keeping your head together with disaster and euphoria happening every couple of minutes
Anyway I play in the big competition (it is for me) on saturday. This time oh yes I will destroy you my nemisis one way or another

photo of My Grandaughter Courtney and me at Disneyland Paris

Snoring

Tired today ,got kicked out of bed early this morning for allegedly snoring.Ok so I have a bit of a cold but the snoring doesnt bother me .What,s snoring all about anyway where does it fit in the great evolutionary pattern .I does not seem to convey any great advantage to the individual in a survival of the the fittest universe .Unless our ancestors who snored scared away any ancient beasts who fancied us for dinner or kept every other caveman awake so that no saber tooth tigers could sneak up on them.I think it would have drawn any hungry creatures to them ,a big I am sleeping and here I am signal.So I believe that snorers should have been weeded out the gene pool years ago yet here I am so darwin go back to your drawing board .Unless the reality is that in fact I do not snore and the wife invents this as an excuse to moan at me,one of the things females learn at special classes at school.Woman I am on to your secret yes special classes where you are taught lots of secret things on how to rule mankind,utilise magic powers and to make mens life a misery .

Back to the grind

So its been my birtthday and I have been to disneyland paris with the good lady and my grandaughter Courtney.Had a suprisingly good time not generally up for the whole disney thing feel its a bit facist and money grabbing behind happy endings and sugary sentiments.But all good things come to and I am back at the daily grind of work .I work shifts so 5days of a 5am rise is pain at my age .The good news is that the overtime is finished so I will have the weekend free and and i will be able to get a game of golf in on saturday